Every year, the towns of Loungeville and Slackham come together for the most anticipated event on their calendars: the annual football match between the Loungers and the Slackers. This match is unlike any other, reflecting the unique spirit of both towns.
The game is divided into two halves, each lasting a mere 15 minutes. Despite the short duration, the players give it their all, which, in these towns, means a lot of slow jogging, casual strolling, and the occasional enthusiastic yawn. The real highlight, however, is the halftime break. Lasting a luxurious two hours, this break allows the players to recover from their exertions. Some use this time to nap under the shade of the nearest tree, while others indulge in a light snack or a leisurely chat with friends.
The match, refereed by Mr. Friar, is a spectacle of laid-back athleticism. The Loungers, true to their name, often lie down on the field, waiting for the ball to come to them. The Slackers, on the other hand, are known for their strategic use of the “I’ll get it later” tactic, often letting the ball roll past them with a promise to chase it eventually.
The Loungers v Slackers match is known for its quirky and unique rules that add to the fun and laid-back atmosphere. Here are some of the most notable ones:
- The Nap Timeout: Each team is allowed one “Nap Timeout” per half, where a player can lie down on the field for a quick 5-minute nap. The game continues around them, and it’s up to the other players to avoid disturbing the napper.
- The Slow-Mo Goal: If a player scores a goal in slow motion, moving at a snail’s pace, it counts as two goals. This encourages the players to take their time and enjoy the moment.
- The Yawn Pass: If a player yawns while passing the ball, the pass is considered a “Yawn Pass” and cannot be intercepted by the opposing team. This rule often leads to exaggerated, theatrical yawns on the field.
- The Hammock Substitution: Instead of a traditional substitution, a player can request a “Hammock Substitution,” where they are replaced by a teammate and immediately escorted to a hammock on the sidelines for a rest.
- The Lazy Dribble: Players are encouraged to dribble the ball as slowly as possible. If a player manages to dribble the ball from one end of the field to the other without breaking into a run, their team is awarded an extra point.
- The Half-Time Picnic: During the two-hour halftime, both teams are required to participate in a communal picnic. Points are awarded for the best picnic setup, the tastiest snacks, and the most creative lounging positions.
- The Sleepy Referee: The referee is allowed to take short naps during the game. If the referee is caught napping, the game pauses until they wake up, and the team that wakes them up gets a free kick.
These quirky rules ensure that the match remains a lighthearted and enjoyable event, perfectly reflecting the easygoing nature of Loungeville and Slackham. The townsfolk look forward to this annual tradition, knowing that it’s not just about winning, but about celebrating their shared love of leisure and relaxation.
As the final whistle blows, the townsfolk gather to celebrate the victors. The winning team is rewarded with luxury hammocks, each one equipped with a built-in pillow and a cup holder for maximum comfort. The losing team, not to be left out, receives high-quality sleeping bags, perfect for those impromptu naps that are a staple of life in both towns.